Love the Dark Days by Ira Mathur

Written as a memoir and yet so much more, this story follows Poppet, a child of mixed Hindu and Muslim religion, who begins childhood living with her sister Angel and Burrimummy (grandmother). It’s a story of growing up unwanted, the prejudices against those seen as inferior, and the struggle to find an identity when no one has prepared her for life. It shows the complexities of flawed generations and the influence seemingly small decisions or actions have. The story shares a poignant look at a life that could have gone a number of ways and the choices the author faced (or had no control over) to end up where she is now. A vivid and fascinating journey that is well-written and plunges you so deeply into scenes sometimes that it is difficult to come back to the present.  

 

I found this story quite difficult to read – for a number of reasons. In the beginning, when we are introduced to Poppet and her situation, it’s hard to understand how people are treated in certain ways or spoken to as they are for things not of their doing. Then, as the story continues, the interactions with Derek Walcott (while I understand help to move the story and explain her motivations) stop the flow of the story every now and then. You’d find yourself immersed in a part and the next chapter, when about Derek Walcott, would bring you out of the era you were in. Then the journey through her moving, college, and marriage left a very sour taste in my mouth – through no fault of her own. The interactions and conversations were heavy, and while there may be some who understand the history and feel the parts were normal, to me the lack of respect threw me and made me feel quite ill for a while after finishing the book. So in that respect, the author has done a tremendous job in getting the reader right into the situations.

 

Burrimummy was brought across as a character able to be hated and pitied. She was so caught up in her past that she couldn’t see changing times and changing choices and only felt validated by her possessions, connections, and perceived superiority over others. Poppet’s mummy had the redeeming feature of choice – and a backbone to go with it. Otherwise, her reliance on physical looks as validation and constant socialising in dances and visits made for a character without much substance.

 

Poppet’s struggles through life played on my mind for days. Trying to fit in as a child of mixed religion and where lighter skin than hers is preferred in post-colonial patriarchal India. Trying to fit in in the West Indies where emphasis is placed on different values. Trying to fit in in London in a modern society where she is wholly unprepared to be herself. At times, it even felt as though she was fighting the wrong fights.

 

The photos at the end of the book helped to cement how the reader envisaged the characters and settings (especially what Burrimummy looked like when she was younger), but what was missing for me though, was the connection between who and where the author is now to the last pieces of information we had. The ending felt rushed and left me asking for more information.  

 

I wasn’t sure if I would enjoy this book, and at times I didn’t. But it left something with me. Something that made me hug my family closer, something that made me feel for those whose stories I don’t know, and something that made me motivated to do and be better.

 

Thank you to Loudhailer Books and NetGalley for a copy of the book to review.

The Patient's List by James Caine

 The Patient’s List is a standalone psychological thriller.

Newly married Dr Rina Kent couldn’t be happier. She has a gorgeous husband, Jonas, loves her job as a psychiatrist at Holy Saints, and is just about to leave for her honeymoon.

With only a half-day of work ahead of her, Rina is packed and ready. But Rina is a little concerned about one of her patients, Jenny, as she had only just started opening up and her behaviour that day seemed to be regressing to her previous depressed and suicidal state.

As Rina leaves the hospital to fetch some files, Jenny manages to launch herself through a window. Straight onto Jonas’s car. And Rina realises she could have prevented it if she had reported the loose table Jenny was standing near.

A year later and Rina’s life has turned around. Having not gone on her honeymoon as she blamed herself for Jenny’s death, her marriage then unravelled and her work is suffering. She will only take on “easy” cases as she doesn’t feel confident enough to deal with others, and prefers to work late at night, keeping to herself.

Then Amy Deaver is brought in. After being suspected of trying to kill herself, Amy, who is autistic and non-verbal, will not communicate with anyone in any way. On one of Rina’s late shifts, Amy sneaks out of her room and, on finding Rina in the hospital gym, whispers a list of names to her. The last name on the list is her ex-husband’s. Then she says, “Say nothing.”

With Amy refusing to say another word, what is Rina supposed to do with the list?

 

I had high hopes for this story, as the premise sounded very intriguing. However, I struggled to feel for any of the characters as they were all remarkably unlikeable and the story very slow with things being repeated unnecessarily.

I found the characters flip-flopped a lot. The people at the hospital seemed to have no empathy for their patients, and the way they treated and spoke to each other was very harsh. They also seemed to have no issue speaking badly about each other. But then suddenly they would act like best friends. This happens with the detective’s character, too.

Spoilers ahead:

Some parts of the story seemed very out of place. The introduction of the rhyme went nowhere and didn’t create the connection necessary between Amy and Rina. Rina, too, seemed very “able” to put her detective hat on and investigate dangerous scenes, all the while completely ignoring what the real detective was telling her not to do. She outright lies about where she is going and has been and then lands up having to explain it all anyway, which seemed like a complete waste of time.

The fireplace poker… Phyllis used it to kill Marie but when Rina goes to her house the poker is not there. And then the poker is found at the bed when Jonas is hurt and the police think Phyllis hit him. Why the emphasis on the empty poker holder only for it to come back into the story?

The money issue… Jonas says they have the money. Why on earth would they have a bag of cash buried? This is money that has been embezzled from the new building, so why is it in cash? How did the four of them work together to do the embezzling? And how did Amy know where it was buried at Rina’s house to be able to dig it up?

One glaring question I had was: Why would Amy tell Rina the names on the list? Why her in particular? She hadn’t made a communication connection with her and her mom had told her not to say anything to anyone, so why go and tell Rina?

There were a few grammatical mistakes in the book but nothing to make the reader pause too long. I think if some of the characters were worked on and the story tightened a little, this could be a really good book.

 

Thanks to the author and Voracious Readers Only for a review copy.